Shared Inspiration

I’m in Sunny Miami, Florida visiting my family during the holiday weekend. I passed by my old neighborhood in Little Haiti where all of my fondest memories took place and for once I realized how small my block was. It’s off street parking in that neighborhood and only one car can drive down the street at a time. When I was growing up my block seemed so big. I swear 4 cars could have driven down the street at the same time. Although we no longer own the house, I still walked up to it just to inhale the feeling again. The 12-year old Jodine that thought she knew it all and didn’t want to listen to her mom. The 8-year old Jodine that use to act like she knew how to play football cause I had something to prove to the boys. The house seemed so much smaller, felt like it decreased in half from when I use to live there.

Sitting there I wondered, did the house get smaller or did I grow? Not just physically cause I am 5’8 now but mentally, spiritually in all aspects of my life. Has that ever happened to you when visiting your old block? My life in Miami was on 50th Street and that’s all I knew. I occasionally travelled to visit other family member in other cities but for the most part, my life was 50th Street. Going back and sitting on the sidewalk like I use to do while eating a Mickey Mouse ice cream bar made me realize that my old neighborhood is so small cause of the possibilities beyond this place. Little Haiti was such a great city to groom me into the woman that I am now but this life is bigger than 50th Street. I made a pact with my block, I’m going to come back every now and then and continue to measure how much smaller she is getting.

Thank you 50th Street & North Miami Avenue. I appreciate who I am because of you!

"I guess if you want to save something you've got to save all of it." ~Alix Olson

I was watching Alix Olson's documentary, Left Lane, about her life and experience on a year-long poetry performance tour. There's a scene where she and her road manager, Sam Farinella, blow a tire on I-90 on their way to New York. They pull over and try to address the situation. While waiting for roadside assistance to arrive, the tour manager, Sam, spent the time picking up caterpillars that were crawling towards the highway and placing them back in the nearby woods. Back and forth she went saving caterpillars. Alix, whose life work revolves around changing stereotypes and gender discrimination worldwide, responded to the unique situation by saying "I guess if you want to save something, you've got to save all of it."

The entire situation, in my view, perfectly symbolized life! Think about how many times you unknowingly crawled towards harm, yet lovingly, someone in your life picked you up and placed you in a safer and warmer space -- like their embrace.

So many times we look at situations or people or circumstances and just want to write them off. We're done! We're fed up! We can't take it anymore. That's the easiest response. Challenge yourself. Is there a way to pick up the situation, the circumstance, the person and turn things around and direct it into a healthier, harmless place?

Remember, today's catepiller is tomorrow's butterfly! There's a reason why you are being challenged. Amaze yourself!

~Chezon Jackson

"That's the risk you take if you change: that people you've been involved with won't like the new you. But other people who do will come along."  -- Lisa Alther

At this stage in my life, I truly feel that I am an authentic person. In the past, I lost people who were important to me because I was afraid to tell the truth about who I am or who I wanted to be.

I grew up in a household where my father was a powerful religious leader in our congregation. My mother has always been an extremely opinionated woman. When I was younger, I believed I would lose their love if I expressed opinions and desires that contradicted my father’s religious faith or my mother’s, sometimes, overbearing views. I kept my opinions to myself and went along with everyone else so as not to rock the boat.

When the time came for me to accept the academic scholarships that were offered to me in my teens, I began to have anxiety attacks. I did not want to disobey my parents’ wishes. Ultimately, I followed what I believed they would want me to do and turned down the chance to go to college.

The further I stepped into my adult life, the unhappier I became. The life I lived was not being steered by me. I was moving only in the direction other people preapproved for me.

It’s been a long journey for me to get to where I am now. It took a lot of soul-searching and numerous heart-to-heart, honest conversations with the people I love in order for me to take the reins of my life. Some people could accept my new stronger attitude, others could not. But I feel it’s been the best decision I’ve ever made!

Now, I am enrolled into college and taking classes that will help me obtain a degree in sign language interpretation. I have friends that share with me the love of art and literature. I am dating a man who loves me, regardless of what my family, friends and peers may feel about whom I should be romantically involved.

Every day I focus on two (ultimate) goals for the day. I ask myself if I am really happy. If the answer is yes, I try hard to hold that feeling close to me all day long. If the answer is no, I focus on writing a list of things I can do to make myself happy and then aim at crossing off at least one thing from that list – the rest I prioritize for the immediate future. The other thing I do each day is ask myself what I can do today that would make someone else happy. If I’m truly happy, the second question usually fills that day’s to-do list.

In whole, this is how I feel I live my most authentic life.

--Chezon Jackson

"If God had wanted me otherwise, He would have created me otherwise." ~Johann von Goethe

I read a short story by one of my favorite writers, J. California Cooper, which she described it as the letter “Y” story.

The plot consisted of one man and one woman leading miserable lives, worlds apart. Besides their awkwardness, what the two have in common is a longing to belong, despite the rejection they received from their neighbors. The two endured harsh comments about their outward appearances, intelligence and social status. At the peak of the ridicule, both began to retreat to the privacy of their own homes.

There, the woman kept searching internally for reasons to love herself. She rationalized that many of the things the community shunned were not within her control. She went on to create a home environment that was loving and peaceful. The young man, instead, decided to find a place where he could be accepted. He packed his things and began his search.

This is the point in the story where the “Y” connects.

The young man arrived in the woman’s town and was eventually hired as a handy man to fix things in her home. The more time he spent fixing the woman’s home, the more beauty he noticed. He began to count her amongst the things that awed him.

It took her awhile to trust the sincerity in his compliments. (She had been hurt and rejected for so long.) But his persistence finally convinced her of the deep affection he had for the very same things she had been teased about previously.

As the two fell deeper in love with one another, they secured a place within each other that was warm and accepting. When the community viewed them, they still saw the same displeasing flaws, but they couldn’t deny the love and joy between the two. Many had a hard time concealing their envy.

Think about this in relation to the judgments others place upon you. Are you suppose to conform to someone else’s idea of what you should look like, or how your dream should be mapped, or who you should love, or how you should make your money? Or are you going to, instead, create the circumstances that will enable you to bloom the way God intended? Remember, you are in control of your character development. Use your divine right to choose wisely.

--Chezon Jackson